Can I just say something?

I want to jump this guy's bones.



His name is Bastian, he calls himself the Wohnprinz and he lives in Lübeck, in northern Germany.

I've been subscribed to him on YouTube for months, ever since he was featured on an episode of Buck Factor, but this video pretty much pushed me over the edge. He wears Lederhosen and puts on a Bavarian accent, and for some reason, I find that incredibly sexy.

He is just so cute, funny, smart, and he has excellent taste. Plus, he's German. In other words, he's my future husband. I wish. We would have an impeccably decorated flat in Lübeck and a cozy vacation home in the Schwarzwald and we would adopt beautiful orphan babies and have a perfectly fabulous little German family.

If I ever met him in person, I would definitely have to fight the urge to pounce on him, rip his clothes off, and make love to him right then and there.

------------------------------------------

But enough about my obsession with a YouTube style guru who lives a third of the way around the world. I've sort of put myself back out there in the dating pool after taking a good while to get over the breakup with Lomond. I've revived my OkCupid account and joined PlentyofFish. I've had online conversations with several guys, and I had Starbuck's with one guy a couple weeks ago. Nothing has really come of it, since the pickings are pretty slim in my CenTex hometown, but that's okay for now, I guess. I'm not exactly in the best position to start dating anyone anyway, considering I live with my parents and have neither a job nor a car, but I'm working on that.

I'm generally feeling a lot better about myself than I was when I wrote my last post here. I've come to accept that there was nothing I could have done to stop the disintegration of my relationship with Lomond, and I've also more or less stopped being angry at Lomond for his actions. I even almost forgive him for telling me he doesn't want to be my friend when we met for Starbuck's a month ago, since he really can't help his emotional issues. He just needs to deal with them before he can have a successful relationship (which he himself realizes and which is why he stopped dating "Natasha").

So here we have a much calmer, much less teary Phillip Wilde, and I thank you all for being there for me.

And unfortunately, embedding has been disabled for the music video of my current happy song, so just click HERE.

-PW

Having some fun

So I finally saw Kalender again yesterday.

It took us a while to get together thanks to scheduling conflicts, a bit of drama llama within the circle of friends, and the death of my grandfather*.

We met in the city center and walked to the restaurant he was wanting to go to. It was closed, so I suggested we go to this Chinese place. I was craving Chinese anyway. I gave him plenty of opportunities to veto and suggest somewhere else, but he said nothing, so we to the Chinese place. I think that it's reasonably priced for how much food you get, but he must be on a really tight budget, since all he got was this tiny plate of tiny spring rolls. I felt really guilty eating my plate full of delicious chicken and broccoli with white rice and curry sauce. Of course, we each paid for ourselves. But still, I felt guilty. My bill was just under €8 (and so worth it), but his was only €4, and I think it was only that much because he thought he should get a drink because I did. Oh well. We had good conversation anyway.

Then we went back to his place and watched Sin City, since I had never seen it, and it's one of his favorites. Pretty good. It's the kind of movie you have to watch a few times before it really makes sense, but at least I have one viewing under my belt and I can understand it more next time.

And that's all we did - eat, talk, watch a movie. Once we were at his place, watching a movie with the lights dimmed, I was expecting him to make a move. I didn't really know what I would have done if he had, but he didn't. I probably would have kissed him, but drawn the line there. In retrospect, there were signs that he really wanted to make a move, but was probably too nervous. It's cute. And exactly how I wanted things to go. I have a terrible history of going to the stuff far too quickly. For once I actually didn't kiss on the first date, and it's invigorating.

The whole way home, I was grinning like an idiot, because I can tell he wants me. He really wants me. And I'm making him wait, and it's driving him crazy, and I love it. I'm not used to having this much power. I'm not being a tease, since you're not a tease if you intend to give it up eventually, but for now I enjoy playing with him a bit and watching him squirm. It's fun.

We speak mostly in English because he rarely gets a chance to practice his English, whereas I get to practice my German all the time. He has a German accent and sometimes he'll say something completely wrong, e.g. directly translating a German idiom or saying an entire sentence in German sentence structure. It's adorable. I'm totally up for seeing him again.

Meanwhile I got a Facebook message from Lucia the other day, saying that she missed hanging out, so we made plans to meet for lunch on Wednesday. I haven't seen her for a few weeks, but I am using this as a positive opportunity. Geordie always scolds me for not just telling Lucia I was gay when I could tell that she had a crush on me. I always responded that the right time had never presented itself, but it's sure to on Wednesday. Considering how long it's been she's bound to ask me what's new or something along those lines, and I will respond by mentioning that I had a date this past weekend. From there, it can go one of two ways:

Either
Lucia (nervously): Oh, how did it go?
Phillip: It went well! Totally going to see him again! *smiles*

Or
Lucia (nervously): Oh, who is she?
Phillip: This cute German guy I met named [Kalender]. Totally going to see him again! *smiles*

We'll see how this goes.

I leave you with a funny video by Dan:

Warning: NSFW



Peace.

-PW

*I'm fine, by the way, so you don't have to worry about me. I have grieved/cried, and now I am getting on with my life, as he would want me to do.

A developing situation

Things are still going on with Essex.

Yesterday, Geordie asked me what I would call it. I think it's too early to put a label on it. I mean, we've only known each other a little more than a week.

But here is a description of what we have done since my last post:

Wednesday, he invited me to dinner at his place. We had a simple pasta dinner and cooked way too much. A bit of kissing and cuddling afterward. Then we went to the city to meet some of his friends for Karaoke night at one of the two Irish pubs in town. It was three English girls, Essex, a flamboyant American guy I've known for a while (let's call him Z.Q.), and me. It was a rather relaxed time, hanging out, drinking Kilkenny and Bailey's. The Karaoke didn't start until late because there was a football (soccer) match on TV that was running long. By the time we were able to go up and sing, only four of us were left: Z.Q., Essex, one of the girls (let's call her Kendra), and me. We sang "Waterloo" by ABBA and then ran to catch our last tram home.

After that, Z.Q. and Kendra went home, and Essex and I swung by my flat so I could drop off my jacket before going to the nightclub/bar in my humongous student compound, since Wednesday is always a party night there, and that Thursday was a holiday, so I didn't have to worry about going to bed early. Well, as soon as we got in my room, we started kissing. We never made it to the club. So he stayed the night, and it was really nice. We did more of the same stuff, but we also talked a lot.

As Essex was leaving Thursday morning, we decided to meet in the city that night for dinner. I then spent most of the day sleeping. Then I checked my email and got an email from my mom saying that my Grandpa has taken a turn for the worse. He has senile dementia and highly advanced cancer. Well, I didn't take the news very well, and I almost canceled dinner with Essex, but Geordie convinced me that it would help get my mind off it, so I got myself ready and went.

I was in the mood for Indian food, so I went to a place that Russky really likes, and that I had been to a couple times and really enjoyed. The food was good, the conversation was good, the weather was terrible. It was also funny because he has some strange aversion to eating peas, yet he ordered samosas, knowing full well that they pretty much always have peas in them. He just picked out all the peas, losing about half of his samosa in the process. We just had dinner and then went to our respective homes, which was all we really needed to do that night.

I made plans with Geordie and Louisa to go to the Titisee on Saturday, and by a complete coincidence, Essex had also made plans to go to the Titisee that day with Z.Q., Kendra, and another girl. We didn't really make any specific plans to meet up, but we said we would just get a hold of each other once we were there. They missed our picnic because they were out on a paddleboat, although they did paddle over toward us briefly. When they finished and came over, we had already packed up our picnic, and were about to go get a paddleboat ourselves. They had to leave pretty soon after anyway, so we just said bye.

Also, something relevant to this blog happened during our picnic. To preface, I had yet to come out to Louisa. Anyway, so just in the course of our picnic conversation, Geordie asked me how my date had gone. It went something like this:

Geordie: So [Phillip], how did your date the other day go?
Me: Oh, it went just fine. We just had dinner and then went home.
Louisa: Oh, you had a date! With whom?
Me: Oh, no one.
Louisa: Come on, just tell me.
Me: It's not important.
Geordie: Come on. If you don't tell her, I will.
Louisa: So who is it.
Me: [Essex].

Well, so I'm out to Louisa now. She probably already had an idea about it anyway. I've just been more wary about coming out to people from my unnamed Baptist university.

In other news, I have discovered a lot of gay vloggers on YouTube recently, after this video showed up in my "Recommended" box:



After this video, I really started looking into a few of these guys.

Davey Wavey is goofy and fun and doesn't take anything too seriously.

Scotty is quite a bit like me, logical, educated, and trying to reconcile his homosexuality with his religious beliefs.

And Dan is just cool and relaxed with a level head.

Check them out if you have some time.

I leave you with a song that has been stuck in my head for a couple days now:



Peace and love.

-PW