A relapse and a friendly suggestion

Well, I had thought I was over my crush on the Finn, but now that his girlfriend has gone back to Finland, he's looking a lot more attractive again. We were out yesterday with a big group, and when we saw each other, he smiled at me the same smile that I had loved so much before, and I got a brief moment of giddiness.

Then I just thought:

Ooh, maybe he's bi... Damnit Phillip, quit it!

Geordie just met him last night, and she said that she would try out her gaydar on him and get back to me. Ach, so.

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And just a side note to all the girls out there:
If you are a little broad in the shoulder, spaghetti straps are NOT your friend. They only make you look broader. It would look better either strapless or with straps at least an inch wide.

And while we're at it, just because you really like a color, does not mean that it's a good color for you, i.e. Not all girls have the right coloration to wear pink. It's not a personal attack or anything. Everyone has a color that just does not look good on them (I look like a damn fool in yellow), and for some of you, that color is pink. Try blue. Trust me.

-PW

Offenheit

So I've been meaning to blog about this for a week now, but I've finally come out to some people here in Germany.

Strangely enough, it was to people I had only known for a week.

Geordie - a girl from northern England
Woods - a girl from Singapore
Umlaut - a girl from Massachusetts

I'm also starting to reveal a little bit more about myself. I was with some friends (including the three I just mentioned) playing "I've Never", and I drank when another guy said that he had never done anything sexual with a guy. Of course, that doesn't necessarily prove to them I'm gay, but it leaves the possibility open. Funnily enough, the other guy drank too, but I'm pretty sure he's just a straight guy who has dabbled. Oh, and Lucia was there too. Maybe eventually she'll get the message.

I've also come up with a new rule for myself: NO CRUSHING ON STRAIGHT GUYS. It can never end well. It really hasn't been much of a problem since late-ish in high school, but this whole business with the Finn sort of mixed me up a bit. In my defense, I really could not determine his sexual orientation. For a while, I thought a friend of his who came to visit might be his boyfriend. Then it would have violated my preexisting rule of no crushing on guys in relationships.*

Other than that, I don't think there's really anything important to say, except that my regular semester here in Germany begins today. Wish me luck.

-PW

*See The Rules of Dating or any post that mentions Lip Ring.

Eh, oh well.

So it seems the Finn is indeed straight. No, I didn't make a move and get rejected. Rather, his girlfriend came to visit. Oh well. I was pretty much over the crush by then anyway. I mean, I still think he's cute, but I had stopped pining.

So I find myself back where I was before, between infatuations. And again, I'm okay with that. I'm keeping my eyes, ears and mind open in case someone should come along, but I'm just going to be happy being single now. It is a lot easier to do that here, since I'm not surrounded by couples all the time. Most of my friends here are either single or they have SOs somewhere else who may come to visit every now and then.

Speaking of my friends in Texas, I guess I'll give an update on their status:

CSI Friend is still living with KoP and seem to be doing fine.
Teacher Friend and Aladdin broke up several months ago and she is now very happy with Superdude.
Blonde Friend and Army Guy are in Germany, where he's stationed. I'm trying to set up a time for them to come visit.
Koopa and CompSci Guy are still together and seem happy, although she is about to graduate and go elsewhere for law school, so they're having to deal with that.

And the situation with Lucia still hasn't changed, and Louisa said that she has noticed it too, so it's not just a narcissistic delusion or anything.

That's about it.

And if you haven't already, may I suggest you go check out my friend over at Blazing Life, who blogs about often taboo marijuana-related issues. I don't smoke myself, but she really gives a lot of insight on the subject, and I enjoy reading what she has to say.

-PW

Ach, so.

Oh, I meant to post last week that all the stuff with the Finn and the Chihuahua got resolved really easily, i. e. when they sobered up, they realized they had acted like idiots and the security guy also realize that he had been a jerk. All resolved. The Chihuahua was back at the student bar last Wednesday. The Finn wasn't, but I think it was more that he was embarrassed than that he was still shouting about a boycott.

There really hasn't been much relevant to say lately. Except that I am now even more unsure of the Finn's sexuality. Maybe I was just thinking he was gay because I wanted him to be gay. Ach. It's frustrating. I swear, it really is harder to tell with Europeans.

And there is a girl (let's call her Lucia) who I'm pretty sure is into me. She's the shy type, so she just sort of follows me around and is probably waiting for me to make the first move, but I'm not going to make one. How should I let her down easily? Should I just casually mention an ex-boyfriend in conversation or what? I swear, this always happens to me. I'm nice to a somewhat socially awkward girl, and then she just gets attached. But God forbid a guy actually like me. *sigh*

Oh wait, I totally lied about there not being anything relevant to say. I had a long AIM conversation with Lip Ring a couple days ago. He's no longer ignoring me because he and whatshisface have opened their relationship. He wants me bad, but I'm pretty sure he just wants sex. I'm just not interested. I think I've pretty much gotten over the whole wanting Lip Ring thing. He's really not that great of a guy, and when I think of how he has treated whatshisface, it's a real turnoff.

Again, if you want less topic specific information about my time here in Germany, check out my Facebook. I have lots of pictures. You know you want to comment on them.

Now it's time for bed.

Ciao.

-PW

Boys are stupid

So I'm still totally crushing on the Finn, but I realized last night that he can be just as stubborn and immature as any other male twentysomething.

There is a bar on campus here in my unnamed German university, and Wednesday night is party night. Everyone was out last night, like usual, and everyone was getting pretty tipsy and having fun, when the Finn and this other guy, the Chihuahua, were playfully shoving each other. A security guy then came over and told them to stop or he would throw them out. They laughed in his face, more so the Chihuahua than the Finn. The security guy then grabbed the Chihuahua and pulled him all the way outside, and the Finn followed after.

They apparently did not take the guy seriously and were sort of disrespectful. It's true that the security guy was a jerk, but if they had just reacted calmly and cooperated, it probably would have been just fine and they would have been let back in. A German girl we know tried to explain to them that the security guys have to be strict because they have a problem with people getting beaten up at this bar.

The Chihuahua refused to go home without his sweatshirt, but he couldn't remember where it was and none of us could find it, so he was just standing outside in the cold wearing only a t-shirt, and the Finn kept egging him on, saying that the bar was full of Nazis.

After they had been out there for about an hour and a half, the German girl and I finally convinced the Chihuahua to go home so he wouldn't freeze and that he could come back tomorrow and try to find his sweatshirt. I think by the end he finally realized that it wasn't worth freezing over, but as they left the Finn still refused to admit that they had done anything wrong. He needs to realize that security guys are very often assholes, and that everything is usually a lot easier if you just cooperate.

*sigh* Why are boys so stubborn?

In other news, I'm making lots of new friends from all over the world. It still haven't come out to anyone here, but that's mainly just because it's sort of an awkward thing to randomly bring up, not because I'm afraid of how people will react like I am in Texas.

My new friends include:
Lumberjill - a Danish girl who studies forestry and conservation, and as part of her studies has worked as a lumberjack
Gotherella - a gothic Italian girl who studies philosophy
Laetitia - an Italian girl, who is really more international, because she doesn't want to go back to Italy, is married to an American, and will be staying in Germany for a while, even though she won't be studying here
Fun Hair - another Italian girl, small, but with big, curly hair that fits her personality perfectly
Jung - a Korean girl, who is much more liberated than the other Koreans here and who doesn't want to go back to Korea
The Australian - an Australian guy, who is always the life of the party
Die Königin der Finnen - a Finnish girl, studying law, who always makes us laugh with her 'queen wave'
Russky - the other guy here from my unnamed Baptist university
and, of course, the Finn.

Those are just the ones with whom I hang out on a regular basis. There are several other awesome people I hang out with every now and then. I've only met two people I really don't like since I came here, and they are both Americans.

Blonde Friend should be coming to Germany about a week from now, since she finally has trudged her way through the bureaucracy of the US Army so that she could come live her with her husband, Army Guy, who is stationed near Nürnberg. That should be interesting. It's always strange when your friends from one place meet your friends from another place.

So, to sum up: boys are stupid, but the Finn is still adorable; there are awesome people everywhere; and Germany rocks.

Bis später!

-PW

And now for something completely different

Except not really.

Well, I've been here in Germany for a week now, and I already have a crush, damnit.

Let's call him the Finn. Yes, he's Finnish. I've been meeting people from all over the place, but for some reason, he had caught my eye. Don't know if he's gay. I swear, it's harder to tell with Europeans. But he's fun, nice, and smart. Slender and pale, with blond hair and pale blue eyes. Very Nordic.

Not really much else to say. If you know me in real life, you can read my LiveJournal or hit me up on Facebook for more information about Germany.

It's beautiful here. And oh so much more gay-friendly. Hallelujah!

Okay, I've been standing at this net kiosk for a couple hours now doing all my online stuff. Enough for now.

-PW