Sunday, December 7, 2008

The rules of dating

So, after explaining to Lip Ring for the 3rd (at least) time why we cannot fool around right now, I've decided to write out a definitive set of rules that I follow in the field of dating. I also use these when giving others advice.

1. Absolutely NO CHEATING, and no condonation, advocation, or facilitation thereof.
1a. Cheating is defined as intimate activity, be it physical, emotional, or virtual, with someone who is in a relationship with someone else, without the consent of the person with whom they are in the relationship.
1b. Even if the relationship is on the rocks, it is still cheating until the relationship is officially over.
1c. A relationship is not considered officially over until there is some confirmation from both parties. Both being listed as 'single' on Facebook and/or Myspace is generally sufficient, unless the parties involved are especially untrustworthy, in which case you should not date them anyway.

2. Although spending time with your SO/whatever is important, you should not ignore your friends and spend all your time with your SO/whatever.

3. Keep PDA to a minimum. Hand-holding, hugs, and pecks are sweet and perfectly acceptable; tongue-kissing, neck-sucking, ear-nibbling, groping, usw., are not. Save that for when you are alone. Please note: Even the 'acceptable' activities can become annoying and unacceptable if done too much. (See Rule #2.)

4. Do not make major decisions (e.g. where you live/work/go to school, getting a tatoo) based on your SO/whatever, unless the relationship is well-established, stable, and has lasted at least 9 uninterrupted months, although a year or three is even better.

5. Absolutely NO CHEATING. This one is important enough to be listed twice. Cheating can possibly be forgiven on a case-to-case basis, if much honest and humble pennance is performed by the offender and the offense is never, EVER repeated. Sadly, the statement 'Once a cheater, always a cheater' is true more often than not.

This list may be amended as different things occur to me.



Anonymous said...

I like this list. Some of these have always been obvious to me, while some I REALLY wish I'd considered several years earlier. I got in a mess with emotional cheating once, and since it wasn't physical I thought everything was fine. Wrong answer.


Phillip Wilde said...

I've come to realize that, since a relationship is first and foremost based on emotions, that emotional cheating is just as bad. I also included it because I've been involved in it too, and it just never ends well.

emoney said...

so true. so true. I'm so guilty of being the other woman it's not even funny, and I feel terrible but man! Ugh, I need to take your rules to heart.