Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Well, I saw Kalender again this past Sunday. Third Sunday in a row. I hope we can see each other on a different say some time soon, so I don't always have to rush home because of class the next day.

We met at 6 that evening in the city center. We weren't really hungry enough to go eat somewhere, but we weren't really ready to go back to his place yet either, so we got ice cream and walked around the city a bit, including along the river. We had some nice chat, but the weather wasn't great, so we eventually went back to his place.

Once there, we sat on his couch and watched more Firefly. I think we watched five episodes. I really do like Firefly. After that, we had time to watch one more, but I didn't want to be in a rush to catch the last tram home, so I kissed him instead.

Lots of kissing led to lots of touching, which led to articles of clothing being removed one by one and more touching, which led to stuff. Yes, we did stuff. Still not the whole shebang, but stuff did happen, and it was rather enjoyable. He knows his stuff.

By the time we were done with that, I checked the time and I had missed the last tram by 20 minutes. Oh well. It was worth it. We smiled, dressed, and kissed a bit more before I left and walked home.

I don't know what would happen between us if I didn't have to leave in a month. I don't really feel butterflies about him, but it never really works out when I feel the butterflies anyway. And he's cute, friendly and good at stuff and has good taste in sci-fi. I keep the hope that I can finally have an amicable end to a relationship/fling/whatever, one that doesn't involve any drama.


I also just realized that I forgot to write about my lunch with Lucia in last week's post. It was just fine. We had Indian food, which is tasty (although not very spicy, because you just can't find properly spicy food in Germany). It took a while for her to ask me what was new, since she had a lot to talk about, but eventually it came up, and I said pretty much what I planned in this post. She didn't really have much of a visible reaction. I think maybe she had heard I was gay from someone else and was just waiting for me to say it myself.

So that's about it for now.

I leave you with some fun music:

Warning: NSFW

Live life and love living.


Thursday, June 25, 2009

In which I am angry and non-specific:

I had a great time at a friend's party last night. Then on the tram ride home, I ran into Essex, Z.Q. and Kendra.

I'm just going to say that Z.Q. is quite possibly the most unpleasant individual I have ever met. He seems to be happy only when he is being a total Arschloch to someone else.

I am so glad that in just over a month, I will never have to see him again.

Less venomous posts to come in the near future.

Take care and don't be a dick.


Monday, June 22, 2009

Und so weiter...

I saw Kalender again yesterday.

No dinner this time, but I figured that would be for the best, considering last week's Chinese restaurant incident. We just met in the city center yesterday evening and went back to his place.

He showed me some of the 3D graphics he had created. That's what he studies, and he aspires to do CGI for a movie studio. Pretty cool.

We watched a so-bad-it's-amazing zombie comedy film called Braindead. So much red corn syrup. Everywhere. I will definitely try to find it when I get back home. After that, we still had plenty of time before I had to catch my tram home, so we also watched the first two episodes of Firefly. We had both seen them before, but it had been a couple years for me, and he had never watched them in English. So that was nice. I can appreciate his taste in movies. It overlaps mine, but isn't exactly the same. (He doesn't really like musicals, and I never would have watched Sin City on my own.

When we were done with the second episode of Firefly, I had about 15 minutes before I had to be at the tram stop, which is about a 5 minute walk. I always prefer to err on the side of caution, however, so I decided to go.

So I put on mu shoes and jacket, and I gave him a hug goodbye, which turned into a kiss goodbye. Nothing too long or intense, but it happened, which is just what I was planning all along anyway.

So now he knows I'm interested, but not easy. All is going according to plan.

I'll keep you updated as the situation develops.


Monday, June 15, 2009

Having some fun

So I finally saw Kalender again yesterday.

It took us a while to get together thanks to scheduling conflicts, a bit of drama llama within the circle of friends, and the death of my grandfather*.

We met in the city center and walked to the restaurant he was wanting to go to. It was closed, so I suggested we go to this Chinese place. I was craving Chinese anyway. I gave him plenty of opportunities to veto and suggest somewhere else, but he said nothing, so we to the Chinese place. I think that it's reasonably priced for how much food you get, but he must be on a really tight budget, since all he got was this tiny plate of tiny spring rolls. I felt really guilty eating my plate full of delicious chicken and broccoli with white rice and curry sauce. Of course, we each paid for ourselves. But still, I felt guilty. My bill was just under €8 (and so worth it), but his was only €4, and I think it was only that much because he thought he should get a drink because I did. Oh well. We had good conversation anyway.

Then we went back to his place and watched Sin City, since I had never seen it, and it's one of his favorites. Pretty good. It's the kind of movie you have to watch a few times before it really makes sense, but at least I have one viewing under my belt and I can understand it more next time.

And that's all we did - eat, talk, watch a movie. Once we were at his place, watching a movie with the lights dimmed, I was expecting him to make a move. I didn't really know what I would have done if he had, but he didn't. I probably would have kissed him, but drawn the line there. In retrospect, there were signs that he really wanted to make a move, but was probably too nervous. It's cute. And exactly how I wanted things to go. I have a terrible history of going to the stuff far too quickly. For once I actually didn't kiss on the first date, and it's invigorating.

The whole way home, I was grinning like an idiot, because I can tell he wants me. He really wants me. And I'm making him wait, and it's driving him crazy, and I love it. I'm not used to having this much power. I'm not being a tease, since you're not a tease if you intend to give it up eventually, but for now I enjoy playing with him a bit and watching him squirm. It's fun.

We speak mostly in English because he rarely gets a chance to practice his English, whereas I get to practice my German all the time. He has a German accent and sometimes he'll say something completely wrong, e.g. directly translating a German idiom or saying an entire sentence in German sentence structure. It's adorable. I'm totally up for seeing him again.

Meanwhile I got a Facebook message from Lucia the other day, saying that she missed hanging out, so we made plans to meet for lunch on Wednesday. I haven't seen her for a few weeks, but I am using this as a positive opportunity. Geordie always scolds me for not just telling Lucia I was gay when I could tell that she had a crush on me. I always responded that the right time had never presented itself, but it's sure to on Wednesday. Considering how long it's been she's bound to ask me what's new or something along those lines, and I will respond by mentioning that I had a date this past weekend. From there, it can go one of two ways:

Lucia (nervously): Oh, how did it go?
Phillip: It went well! Totally going to see him again! *smiles*

Lucia (nervously): Oh, who is she?
Phillip: This cute German guy I met named [Kalender]. Totally going to see him again! *smiles*

We'll see how this goes.

I leave you with a funny video by Dan:

Warning: NSFW



*I'm fine, by the way, so you don't have to worry about me. I have grieved/cried, and now I am getting on with my life, as he would want me to do.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

When it's time to change, then it's time to change...

A week and a half later, and things are completely different...again. Bloody hell.

This is another long post. Enjoy.

When we last left the Adventures of Phillip Wilde, Phillip was having a nice, casual, undefined something with an English guy known as Essex. They had done stuff on three separate occasions, and it was seeming that they would continue to do so, and they had last seen each other in a brief meeting at a nearby lake, with several friends in tow.

Well, here's what has happened since then:

That Monday, the head of the German division from my unnamed Baptist university (let's call him Dr. Fromm) came to my unnamed southwester German city to visit Louisa, Russky, one other girl, and me. He took us all out to dinner on Tuesday, and it was reasonably pleasant. We then decided to go get ice cream, which is a very normal occurrence in this city. As we were looking at the flavors, trying to decide what to get, we hear someone shout "[Phillip]!!!" It was Z.Q., and he was very drunk. With him were Essex and Kendra, and they all came up to us. I said to him, "Oh hi, [Z.Q.], this is [Dr. Fromm], our professor from [unnamed Baptist university]. We were just going to get some ice cream. He then proceeded to speak to our professor in bad, drunken German, using the informal second person, which is actually a bit insulting to use with a professor. Dr. Fromm was very polite and talked back to him. Meanwhile, I go to Essex and whisper in his ear "Please shut him up!" He responded that that would be impossible, which is probably true. I was completely mortified. Of all the people that we could have run into while out with Dr. Fromm, it had to be Z.Q., and he had to be drunk, and there's no telling what he could have told Dr. Fromm about my personal life if Essex and Kendra hadn't been able to drag him away. I spent the rest of the night annoyed.

I received a package from home on Wednesday, including a jar of jalapeƱo peppers and a large package of tortillas, so being excited, I invited a smallish group of friends, including Essex, over for tacos at my place. He couldn't come because he had too much homework, which is understandable, and he invited me to go to a Biergarten Thursday night with a bunch of people.

When I arrived at the Biergarten, about half the people I know were there, and nobody I particularly disliked, so that was a plus. Essex wasn't being very talkative, but who can get a word in edgewise when Z.Q. is there anyway? Well, Z.Q. left a bit early, and about 15 minutes later, Essex seemed ready to go too. He actually seemed a bit surprised that I didn't want to leave then too, but I still had half a beer and was having a good time hanging out with people. Whatever. So that was Thursday.

Then this past Saturday was my 21st birthday. I had invited pretty much everyone I know in this town to the festivities, not that I expected that many people to come. I just wanted to make it clear that everyone was welcome. It was just a very simple plan: a potluck picnic in the park that afternoon, and a pub crawl in the city that night. A lot of people couldn't make it because that day was also the beginning of a week off from class, so a lot of people were leaving on trips, which is perfectly fine. But Essex was one of the few people who responded to the Facebook invite as a definite yes. When it came picnic time, no one showed up but Louisa and Gotherella. I called Essex, but he said that he had gone to Colmar for the day with Z.Q. and Z.Q.'s mom, who had come to visit, but that he would be back to go out on the town that night. Well, I had a good time at the picnic with Louisa and Gotherella, so there was no harm there, and Gotherella gave me an awesome drawing, so I was in a relatively good mood, despite the small numbers.

Then when it came time to go out, everyone seemed to be unavailable except for Geordie and her friend who had come to visit. Louisa isn't really a pub crawl kind of girl, and Gotherella's parents were visiting, so I had no problem with them not coming. Then I texted Essex to let him know we were going into town, and he replied that Z.Q.'s mother had invited him to dinner, so he wouldn't be able to make it. I rolled my eyes, as dinner so would not take up the whole night, and I was annoyed that the guy I was sort of kind of seeing was blowing me off on my birthday. Whatever.

But then, after having a couple drinks in the city with Geordie and her friend, we decided to take the last tram home. I was thinking we could maybe go to the bar/dance club in our dorm complex, but as we were waiting for it, who did we see but Z.Q., Essex, and Kendra, drunk and coming to catch the same tram. Z.Q.'s mother was nowhere in sight. There's no way they could have gotten that drunk in the time in the time they would have had after having dinner. They had to have been out drinking at least since the time when Essex sent me that text. Essex barely said a word to me, and got off the tram to go home to his place, two stops before where I get off.

I haven't seen or had any contact with him since. I hate it when people lie to me. Geordie and I have come to the conclusion that Essex has gone back to being in an unhealthy obsessive whatever with Z.Q., like they had had several months ago. That wouldn't have bothered me so much if he hadn't lied to me about it. At least Buachaill was upfront with me about giving Czech boy another chance, and because of his honesty and since Geordie told me that Czech boy really is a great guy, I am no longer upset with Buachaill. I'm happy he's found someone. But rejection is so much easier to deal with when someone is upfront and honest about it, not when they lie and make excuses and ignore you. That's what Lip Ring did, and we all know how well that has worked out for him and what that has done for my self-esteem.

So I have decided that Essex is out of the picture. If he doesn't respect me enough to be honest with me, then he's not worth the time of day. So I spent Sunday, Monday, and most of Tuesday being angry at men in general. Then I logged on to the dating site and got a message from Kalender, asking if I wanted to do something again some time in the near future. I asked what he had in mind and told him about how busy I have been lately, going on day trips and trying to get the most of this week off. He said that if I wanted to relax, I could come hang out with him some time on his couch and watch a movie. Of course, I know what he means by that; that's how I ended up staying the night with Lip Ring. But I wasn't going to let him get off that easily, so I suggested we have dinner first and see what happens from there. He said he could cook something or we could get some pizza to go from the Italian place he lives over. That sneaking devil. Whenever we actually do get together again, I will make sure we actually eat in a restaurant. He's got to prove himself before he gets at any of what he's trying to get at.

So long story short: Essex lies and gets the boot, Kalender may be back in the picture, and I am not upset with Buachaill, so stop trying to comfort me about it.

Now have some cute music: