Thursday, July 23, 2009

All good things must come to an end.

I saw Kalender on Tuesday night. We sat and talked in a pretty public garden in town. He kept asking if I was ever coming back here. I told him the truth: that it really pains me to leave, and I would love to come back, but there's no telling when I'll be able to.

We then went back to his place and watched the last three episodes of Firefly. It really is a shame it was cancelled. It was a wonderful series. Now I need to see Serenity. Afterward, we started kissing. It was a bit slow starting, but we eventually moved on to stuff, and I stayed the night. Woke up the next morning, got dressed, gave him a kiss goodbye and went home.

I'm kind of sad how this is ending. I mean, I'm not in love, I don't have a crush on him. What we have is a bit more realistic. We enjoy each other's company and have some pleasant stuff. We're supposed to see each other again at some point before I leave. This is only one of many reasons why I'm really sad to leave Germany. I'm going to miss so much. After having lived in the same town in central Texas my whole life, both with my parents and at my unnamed Baptist university, I feel like I have finally found a city that is mine. I would consider living here full-time if I could.

Still, I do want to see my parents and sisters and niece and nephew and grandma, give them all big hugs.

This may be my last post from Germany. Ich werde dich vermissen, mein liebes Deutschland.

I felt the urge to listen to Kyo today, which is kind of funny, considering they're French. But anyway, here's one of my favorite songs by them, one which fits my melancholy mood:

Please ignore the cheesy graphics; it's the only video I could find with this song.

I guess that's all for now.


Thursday, July 16, 2009


I haven't updated in a while, but there hasn't really been anything interesting and relevant to say.

I saw Kalender last Thursday. Nothing happened. Not even what had happened before happened. I was allowing for the possibility of things happening, but they didn't. Nothing huge to make it so that nothing happened. He just made a wrong decision and blew his chances for that night. I'm planning to see him again next Tuesday.

I have been involved in some recent drama. No names (or even pseudonyms) will be named and no details will be related to spare those involved, since both parties (this person and I) are at fault.

The drama had me very upset this evening, stirring up some of my old deep-seated insecurities and whatnot. Accordingly, I decided to watch my favorite film, and the best spiritual healing film ever made: Smoke Signals. It always hits just the right spot for me. It is a film that makes me laugh, cry, and be at peace with my life and the world. In other words, it is my 'calm the hell down' film.

I love every moment of this film, but the ending is the best. Watching the ending won't spoil the film, in case you decide to check it out on my recommendation (and I definitely recommend it), so here is one of the most amazing film moments ever:

I highly recommend playing the video through the end. The song that plays over the credits is very powerful.

"Wajeeleh-Yihm" by Ulali

The internets tell me that it is in the Tutelo-Saponi language and translates as follows:

Let him go
I will carry you
Let the water wash the spirit with us
Let it move away on the river
I must let you go
Again, you have come back, good

I truly love this film. I notice new things each time I watch it, and I have seen it more times I can count, considering it's been my favorite film for about ten years now. I come to this film whenever I need healing, and it never fails me.

I honestly cannot recommend this film enough. I realize it may not be for all people, but it is certainly the film for me.

Forgive, but don't forget. Take every conflict as an opportunity to learn, to grow and to become a better person. And most importantly, never stop loving.