Sunday, May 24, 2009

A developing situation

Things are still going on with Essex.

Yesterday, Geordie asked me what I would call it. I think it's too early to put a label on it. I mean, we've only known each other a little more than a week.

But here is a description of what we have done since my last post:

Wednesday, he invited me to dinner at his place. We had a simple pasta dinner and cooked way too much. A bit of kissing and cuddling afterward. Then we went to the city to meet some of his friends for Karaoke night at one of the two Irish pubs in town. It was three English girls, Essex, a flamboyant American guy I've known for a while (let's call him Z.Q.), and me. It was a rather relaxed time, hanging out, drinking Kilkenny and Bailey's. The Karaoke didn't start until late because there was a football (soccer) match on TV that was running long. By the time we were able to go up and sing, only four of us were left: Z.Q., Essex, one of the girls (let's call her Kendra), and me. We sang "Waterloo" by ABBA and then ran to catch our last tram home.

After that, Z.Q. and Kendra went home, and Essex and I swung by my flat so I could drop off my jacket before going to the nightclub/bar in my humongous student compound, since Wednesday is always a party night there, and that Thursday was a holiday, so I didn't have to worry about going to bed early. Well, as soon as we got in my room, we started kissing. We never made it to the club. So he stayed the night, and it was really nice. We did more of the same stuff, but we also talked a lot.

As Essex was leaving Thursday morning, we decided to meet in the city that night for dinner. I then spent most of the day sleeping. Then I checked my email and got an email from my mom saying that my Grandpa has taken a turn for the worse. He has senile dementia and highly advanced cancer. Well, I didn't take the news very well, and I almost canceled dinner with Essex, but Geordie convinced me that it would help get my mind off it, so I got myself ready and went.

I was in the mood for Indian food, so I went to a place that Russky really likes, and that I had been to a couple times and really enjoyed. The food was good, the conversation was good, the weather was terrible. It was also funny because he has some strange aversion to eating peas, yet he ordered samosas, knowing full well that they pretty much always have peas in them. He just picked out all the peas, losing about half of his samosa in the process. We just had dinner and then went to our respective homes, which was all we really needed to do that night.

I made plans with Geordie and Louisa to go to the Titisee on Saturday, and by a complete coincidence, Essex had also made plans to go to the Titisee that day with Z.Q., Kendra, and another girl. We didn't really make any specific plans to meet up, but we said we would just get a hold of each other once we were there. They missed our picnic because they were out on a paddleboat, although they did paddle over toward us briefly. When they finished and came over, we had already packed up our picnic, and were about to go get a paddleboat ourselves. They had to leave pretty soon after anyway, so we just said bye.

Also, something relevant to this blog happened during our picnic. To preface, I had yet to come out to Louisa. Anyway, so just in the course of our picnic conversation, Geordie asked me how my date had gone. It went something like this:

Geordie: So [Phillip], how did your date the other day go?
Me: Oh, it went just fine. We just had dinner and then went home.
Louisa: Oh, you had a date! With whom?
Me: Oh, no one.
Louisa: Come on, just tell me.
Me: It's not important.
Geordie: Come on. If you don't tell her, I will.
Louisa: So who is it.
Me: [Essex].

Well, so I'm out to Louisa now. She probably already had an idea about it anyway. I've just been more wary about coming out to people from my unnamed Baptist university.

In other news, I have discovered a lot of gay vloggers on YouTube recently, after this video showed up in my "Recommended" box:

After this video, I really started looking into a few of these guys.

Davey Wavey is goofy and fun and doesn't take anything too seriously.

Scotty is quite a bit like me, logical, educated, and trying to reconcile his homosexuality with his religious beliefs.

And Dan is just cool and relaxed with a level head.

Check them out if you have some time.

I leave you with a song that has been stuck in my head for a couple days now:

Peace and love.


Monday, May 18, 2009

*cough* Well, then...

Okay, so things have changed a bit since my last post.

Note: This is a long post. If you have a problem with that, tough! I've got a lot to say today, and it's my blog, so *nanny nanny boo boo*, *voiceless linguolabial trill*, usw.

So soon after I arrived at a friend's birthday party on Friday, which was quite an event, Buachaill told me we needed to talk. That, of course, is rarely a good thing. Long story short, he had been seeing this Czech guy before he started seeing me, but he broke that off because the Czech guy was being a flake, which I already knew. Toward the end of this past week, Czech guy contacted him again and was really apologetic, and Buachaill decided to give Czech guy another chance. I'm glad he was honest with me, but I was still upset. I think I hid it reasonably well. Okay, well Geordie and Umlaut could tell, but they already knew what was going on.

I still had a pretty good time at the party, although I did have a few moments. Namely, when he and I went back up to the party after our little chat, I let him go in first, while I stayed a moment in the empty hallway and silently shouted a stream of obscenities. The only other one was when I was going back into the party after using the toilet, only to find that Buachaill was right in the middle of all the people I was about to go over to, so then I quietly excused myself and went outside for a brief pity party, with the general sentiment of "Why the hell do guys never choose me?!" I haven't exactly had the best track record in that field.

Well anyway, I did still enjoy the party, and I didn't drink any more than I normally would at such a party, although I may have drunk my normal amount within a smaller period of time.

At the party, I also met someone. He's English, and will be called Essex in this blog. He's cute, slim and kind of short, although not as short as Shorty. He is very Southern English, in contrast to Geordie, who is from the north. His accent is probably what most Americans would think of first when thinking of an English accent, or at least as much as Received Pronunciation and Cockney. His is the kind of accent where people say 'bruvva' instead of 'brother' and 'wo-a' instead of 'water'. It's cute.

Considering the people we both know, we really should have met before then, but somehow we hadn't, although we had seen each other. Well, we were talking, when he said "Follow me" and went out into the hallway. I followed him and we had a good snog. Strangely enough, we weren't seen by very many people, although the people who did see us did include Geordie and Buachaill. I was a little embarrassed that Buachaill saw us, but it was a bit late. If he was bothered by it, he really didn't have the right to be, since he was the one who had ended it with me, and all he and I had done was snog and go on one casual date, after which nothing happened.

At the end of the night, when it was pretty clear that Essex and I were going to spend the night together, Geordie just told me "Be safe." That was her response when I asked her what she thought. I trust her enough that I wouldn't have spent the night with him if she had told me it was a bad idea.

So we spent Friday night together at my place. We didn't do everything, but we did do...stuff. And during the stuff, we talked a lot about a lot of different things. When I woke up Saturday morning, I realized that I wasn't going to get back to sleep, so I got up and let him sleep some more. I got online and chatted with my friend Loon, whom I know from Texas, although she is currently in a different unnamed foreign country. I had told her about Buachaill a couple days before, and I felt the need to tell her about the change. She actually seemed a lot more excited when I mentioned Essex than when I had told her about Buachaill, but she (like quite a few of my friends) is a bit of and anglophile. I also have several hibernophile friends, but that's no the point. I think her exact words when I told her about Essex and that he had spent were "w00t!" She also assured me that I wasn't doing anything wrong.

Essex convinced me to go out clubbing in the city Saturday night, and it was very heavily implied that we would stay at his place afterward. Actually, I think it was said outright, but it just sounds better to say that it was heavily implied.

After having a good chat and dinner with Geordie, who was also going to go clubbing in the city that night, I promptly fell asleep 45 minutes before I was supposed to meet Geordie at her place for a pre-game. (That's when you drink a bit at someone's house before going out, so you don't have to buy as many over-priced drinks when you're at the club.) I woke up about thirty minutes after I was supposed to go to Geordie's, which actually was the time I was supposed to meet Essex in the city. I texted him that I was running a bit late. When I got to Geordie's, she, Umlaut, Thóin and Buachaill were there. *sigh* I should have seen that coming.

I kept trying to convince people that it was time to go, and I texted to Essex that I had to wait for Geordie, because I didn't want to go into the city by myself. For a moment there, Geordie started talking that maybe she didn't want to go into the city after all. Normally, I would agree; there's a nightclub/bar right in our student compound and it's a lot cheaper, but I really wanted to go meet Essex. We finally ended up going to the city on the last tram, getting there at 12:30. Essex had been waiting for me for quite a while. At least he had been there with his friends and not just there alone. Still, he understood that sometimes it's difficult to convince friends that it's time to go.


On a (not so) quick side note: Two weeks ago (when Buachaill was still with Czech guy for the first time), I met a German guy, whom we'll call Kalender, on a gay dating site. Different from (and better than) the one where I met Lip Ring. I actually joined it because Buachaill recommended it. It's where he met Czech guy. Kalender is cute as well, slim and almost as tall as I am. We met and went to the only gay bar in town, which he admits is kind of shitty, but his best friend is the bartender, so it's fun anyway. All we did was hang out in the bar with his friends and play cards. Well, he also bought weed from his bartender friend, rolled it into a joint and smoked it right in front of me. That doesn't bother me really, but I think it's funny as hell. I failed to blog about him because my Internet connection went down the next day, and by the time I got it back a week later, Buachaill had already happened, and I just sort of forgot. Well, when we were getting off the tram this Saturday night to go to the club where I was to meet Essex, he was getting on. It was just a smile, a wave, and Geordie knowing exactly who he was without me even having to tell her. It's really weird that I suddenly have all these options. My love life was all but non-existent in Texas.


Okay, so we went into the club and I met Essex. Geordie commented in my ear that I was looking too grumpy and tense. I replied that I wouldn't be if she would take Buachaill out onto the dancefloor so that he wasn't right there. Essex and I had a decent time, and after a bit of awkward dancing (not because it's awkward between us; I'm just an awkward dancer), we decided we had had enough of the club, said our goodbyes and walked to his place.

At his place, we did all the same stuff we had done the night before, but we did it more, and I would say it was a bit better too. Maybe because we were more relaxed. Although I did notice that we didn't talk as much. Really just the stuff. We woke up this morning and did some more stuff before I went home.

I really haven't done anything today. Just chat with Geordie online and spend way too much time reading random crap on Wikipedia. Now I've been writing this blog post for far too long and need to go to bed, so I'm just going to wrap this up.

Essex suggested we go out for dinner some time this week. I was about to suggest it myself. So here goes another try.


Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Aaaaaaand I'm back!

Please disregard that last post. It was a moment of weakness. Besides, I have totally moved on from that now.

'How?' you may ask? Well, because I have met a great guy, and this time the interest is actually mutual!

He's Irish. Let's just call him something simple: Buachaill.

We've known each other for a couple weeks. We met through mutual friends, namely Geordie and another (straight) Irish guy, whom we will call the Leprechaun. Of course they met Buachaill through another mutual friend, whom (to vary slightly from what everyone has been guessing would be his nickname in this blog) we will call Thóin.* Thóin goes to the same university in Dublin as Buachaill.

Ḫanyway, so he and I expressed our mutual interest at a party this past Friday, after being nudged toward each other by Geordie, who has taken to calling herself my Fairy Godmother. We had our first real date last night. I'm not going to go into a lot of detail about it at this point, since it's really too soon, but I will say that he's cute, down-to-earth, and a good kisser. If you want to know more, please direct your inquiries to im.trapped.and.need.out (at) gmail dot com.

I will leave you with a video that really makes me think about my not-always-so-open relationship with my mom. When I finally do come out to her, I think this video will be a good resource.


*For those of you who know what this means, let me assure you, I mean it (mostly) jokingly.