Saturday, December 20, 2008

Musings

It's that time of year again - when people come together and make sure their loved ones know just how much they love them. And I have plenty of loved ones, but there's always the reminder that I don't have a 'beloved'.

I hung up my family's stockings today, and other than my 17-month-old niece and me, my whole immediate family is made up of couples: my parents and my three sisters with their respective husbands/fianc├ęs.

And with all my college friends gone home for the holidays, I find myself alone a lot, which makes me fantasize about all the attractive gay guys I know.

Then I realize that I don't especially want to be with any of them. I just want to be with someone. I would gladly date Lip Ring, Flippy Hair, Adam's Apple, the Artist, or Shorty, as they're all attractive, fun, and within an acceptable age range.

But Lip Ring is still in a relationship, which he says he wants out of, but he doesn't do anything about it. So he's out based on Dating Rule #1.

Neither Flippy Hair, Adam's Apple, nor the Artist have ever shown any interest in me, and I'm too chicken shit to make a move after my last attempt at that failed miserably.

And I'm not even completely sure that Shorty is gay. He confuses my gaydar and that of all my friends.

But really, how will I ever find anyone if I wait just for someone else to come to me. Same-sex dating at an unnamed Baptist university with homophobic policies is a real bitch.

I just have to keep up hope and have the courage to try, because if I never try, nothing will ever happen.

-PW

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