Eh, oh well.

So it seems the Finn is indeed straight. No, I didn't make a move and get rejected. Rather, his girlfriend came to visit. Oh well. I was pretty much over the crush by then anyway. I mean, I still think he's cute, but I had stopped pining.

So I find myself back where I was before, between infatuations. And again, I'm okay with that. I'm keeping my eyes, ears and mind open in case someone should come along, but I'm just going to be happy being single now. It is a lot easier to do that here, since I'm not surrounded by couples all the time. Most of my friends here are either single or they have SOs somewhere else who may come to visit every now and then.

Speaking of my friends in Texas, I guess I'll give an update on their status:

CSI Friend is still living with KoP and seem to be doing fine.
Teacher Friend and Aladdin broke up several months ago and she is now very happy with Superdude.
Blonde Friend and Army Guy are in Germany, where he's stationed. I'm trying to set up a time for them to come visit.
Koopa and CompSci Guy are still together and seem happy, although she is about to graduate and go elsewhere for law school, so they're having to deal with that.

And the situation with Lucia still hasn't changed, and Louisa said that she has noticed it too, so it's not just a narcissistic delusion or anything.

That's about it.

And if you haven't already, may I suggest you go check out my friend over at Blazing Life, who blogs about often taboo marijuana-related issues. I don't smoke myself, but she really gives a lot of insight on the subject, and I enjoy reading what she has to say.

-PW

Ach, so.

Oh, I meant to post last week that all the stuff with the Finn and the Chihuahua got resolved really easily, i. e. when they sobered up, they realized they had acted like idiots and the security guy also realize that he had been a jerk. All resolved. The Chihuahua was back at the student bar last Wednesday. The Finn wasn't, but I think it was more that he was embarrassed than that he was still shouting about a boycott.

There really hasn't been much relevant to say lately. Except that I am now even more unsure of the Finn's sexuality. Maybe I was just thinking he was gay because I wanted him to be gay. Ach. It's frustrating. I swear, it really is harder to tell with Europeans.

And there is a girl (let's call her Lucia) who I'm pretty sure is into me. She's the shy type, so she just sort of follows me around and is probably waiting for me to make the first move, but I'm not going to make one. How should I let her down easily? Should I just casually mention an ex-boyfriend in conversation or what? I swear, this always happens to me. I'm nice to a somewhat socially awkward girl, and then she just gets attached. But God forbid a guy actually like me. *sigh*

Oh wait, I totally lied about there not being anything relevant to say. I had a long AIM conversation with Lip Ring a couple days ago. He's no longer ignoring me because he and whatshisface have opened their relationship. He wants me bad, but I'm pretty sure he just wants sex. I'm just not interested. I think I've pretty much gotten over the whole wanting Lip Ring thing. He's really not that great of a guy, and when I think of how he has treated whatshisface, it's a real turnoff.

Again, if you want less topic specific information about my time here in Germany, check out my Facebook. I have lots of pictures. You know you want to comment on them.

Now it's time for bed.

Ciao.

-PW

Boys are stupid

So I'm still totally crushing on the Finn, but I realized last night that he can be just as stubborn and immature as any other male twentysomething.

There is a bar on campus here in my unnamed German university, and Wednesday night is party night. Everyone was out last night, like usual, and everyone was getting pretty tipsy and having fun, when the Finn and this other guy, the Chihuahua, were playfully shoving each other. A security guy then came over and told them to stop or he would throw them out. They laughed in his face, more so the Chihuahua than the Finn. The security guy then grabbed the Chihuahua and pulled him all the way outside, and the Finn followed after.

They apparently did not take the guy seriously and were sort of disrespectful. It's true that the security guy was a jerk, but if they had just reacted calmly and cooperated, it probably would have been just fine and they would have been let back in. A German girl we know tried to explain to them that the security guys have to be strict because they have a problem with people getting beaten up at this bar.

The Chihuahua refused to go home without his sweatshirt, but he couldn't remember where it was and none of us could find it, so he was just standing outside in the cold wearing only a t-shirt, and the Finn kept egging him on, saying that the bar was full of Nazis.

After they had been out there for about an hour and a half, the German girl and I finally convinced the Chihuahua to go home so he wouldn't freeze and that he could come back tomorrow and try to find his sweatshirt. I think by the end he finally realized that it wasn't worth freezing over, but as they left the Finn still refused to admit that they had done anything wrong. He needs to realize that security guys are very often assholes, and that everything is usually a lot easier if you just cooperate.

*sigh* Why are boys so stubborn?

In other news, I'm making lots of new friends from all over the world. It still haven't come out to anyone here, but that's mainly just because it's sort of an awkward thing to randomly bring up, not because I'm afraid of how people will react like I am in Texas.

My new friends include:
Lumberjill - a Danish girl who studies forestry and conservation, and as part of her studies has worked as a lumberjack
Gotherella - a gothic Italian girl who studies philosophy
Laetitia - an Italian girl, who is really more international, because she doesn't want to go back to Italy, is married to an American, and will be staying in Germany for a while, even though she won't be studying here
Fun Hair - another Italian girl, small, but with big, curly hair that fits her personality perfectly
Jung - a Korean girl, who is much more liberated than the other Koreans here and who doesn't want to go back to Korea
The Australian - an Australian guy, who is always the life of the party
Die Königin der Finnen - a Finnish girl, studying law, who always makes us laugh with her 'queen wave'
Russky - the other guy here from my unnamed Baptist university
and, of course, the Finn.

Those are just the ones with whom I hang out on a regular basis. There are several other awesome people I hang out with every now and then. I've only met two people I really don't like since I came here, and they are both Americans.

Blonde Friend should be coming to Germany about a week from now, since she finally has trudged her way through the bureaucracy of the US Army so that she could come live her with her husband, Army Guy, who is stationed near Nürnberg. That should be interesting. It's always strange when your friends from one place meet your friends from another place.

So, to sum up: boys are stupid, but the Finn is still adorable; there are awesome people everywhere; and Germany rocks.

Bis später!

-PW

And now for something completely different

Except not really.

Well, I've been here in Germany for a week now, and I already have a crush, damnit.

Let's call him the Finn. Yes, he's Finnish. I've been meeting people from all over the place, but for some reason, he had caught my eye. Don't know if he's gay. I swear, it's harder to tell with Europeans. But he's fun, nice, and smart. Slender and pale, with blond hair and pale blue eyes. Very Nordic.

Not really much else to say. If you know me in real life, you can read my LiveJournal or hit me up on Facebook for more information about Germany.

It's beautiful here. And oh so much more gay-friendly. Hallelujah!

Okay, I've been standing at this net kiosk for a couple hours now doing all my online stuff. Enough for now.

-PW

I'm bored, so you get a post.

There really hasn't been much to say lately.

There kind of is a new guy, but I'm not even sure if he's gay.

Let's call him the Environmentalist.

I know him (big surprise!) through the musical revue group. Well, I've known him for a year, but I'm just really starting to think of him like this. He's responsible, he's smart, and he's cute without being cocky/shallow like Flippy Hair, the Artist, and Adam's apple. More down-to-earth, you know?

Not that anything could really happen right now, since I'm leaving for Germany in less than a week and won't be back until August. More an acknowledgment that he is definitely boyfriend material than a declaration of my intentions to jump on him and ravish him in the middle of the quad.

And now a cute song/video:



Live. Love. Kick some arse.

-PW

What a day to learn of this

I just learned that Ken Starr (of Clinton impeachment trial fame) is leading the campaign to invalidate all same-sex marriages issued in California prior to the passing of Proposition 8. As if Prop. 8 weren't bad enough, now people are trying to force divorce upon 18,000+ married couples in the name of the 'sanctity of marriage'.

This is absolutely unacceptable. The Courage Campaign is fighting against this injustice.



Please, take a moment to sign the petition on the Courage Campaign website.

Save the marriages of 36,000 men and women in California. End hate. Repeal 8.

-PW

I think I can, I think I can, I think I can, I think I can...

Hmm, so it seems there was a misunderstanding, a failure to communicate within the revue group. Koopa and Nike both ended up being in one of the special vocal groups, and the other one still hasn't been set, so I still have a chance. So it turns out perhaps Flippy Hair wasn't being a passive-aggressive bitch after all. He just wasn't doing his job and letting us know what the hell was going on.

Whatever. I haven't actually been mad about it for a while now. I'll still try for the other vocal group, but if I don't get it, I'll be fine, since I have already come to accept it over the past week and a half.

I may have mentioned this before, but I am currently in a rather unfamiliar state, i.e. I'm not really crushing on anyone now. I've decided this is just fine, especially since 3.5 weeks from now, I will be going to another continent for five months.

Yep, I'm going to study in Germany for a semester. The German semester is just a bit offset, running from March through July.

I have this stupid fantasy in the back of my mind that my time in Germany will be like Xavier's experience in the film L'Auberge espagnole, minus the whole sleeping with a married woman thing, for two very obvious reasons. I dream of having a great time with lots of crazy friends.

To answer the questions people always ask:

No, I am not going with a group. This is a direct exchange program. There are two other people from my unnamed Baptist university who will be going with me, let's call them Russky and Louisa. There is also one girl who has already been there for one semester and will be staying for this semester as well.

Yes, I will be taking a full course load, and yes, my classes will all be taught in German.

No, I am not extremely fluent in German, but I hopefully will be by the time I'm done.

Yes, I will be living in a dorm, only there it's called a Studentenwohnheim.

I will be at a prestigious 552-year-old university in a beautiful mid-sized city in southwestern Germany, less than an hour by train from both France and Switzerland.

Yes, I will be traveling within Europe as much as my schedule and budget will allow.

The other day, it really hit me how soon I would be leaving and I started feeling really sentimental. Koopa and I had a bittersweet conversation about how I will be leaving right after the revue competition is over and when I get back, she will be gone - graduated and gone away to law school. She and I have gotten so close over the past year.

I finally saw Teacher Friend, CSI Friend, Blonde Friend, and KoP this evening for the first time since Blonde Friend's birthday three weeks ago. We had dinner. It was kind of weird. I'm going to be living with them come August, but it seems that as time goes by, we have less and less in common.

I will also be missing the birth of my first nephew, who is due just three weeks after I arrive in Germany. I worry that my little niece won't remember me when I come back. I worry that my octogenarian grandparents will fall ill while I'm gone. I worry that I won't be good enough to succeed.

But I must remain optimistic. They say that if you believe you can do something, you can, right? Like the Little Engine That Could. I just have to believe in myself. I need to work on that.

And now, I leave you with a song that has been stuck in my head all damn day.



Enjoy.

-PW